Moments, Mentors, Momentum: Life in Motion
Sometimes I feel frustrated being back in the house I grew up in, even though I know I’ll return to New York City in mid to late fall. It brings back bitter memories of when my siblings were frustrated by the unwanted attention I got in middle school. Things shifted when my sister went to college and matured, and when my brother got so deep into his culinary work that we started having weekly dinners together. I was in New York City, he was in Westchester, and those dinners helped strengthen our bond and move past the rocky days of middle and early high school.
High school had its highs. My parents ran a charity called Charley’s Fund, and my friends and I raised thousands of dollars through bike races, car washes, and raffles. I recently met the current president while dining with my parents at Prairie Whale in Great Barrington, and it was inspiring to see the club still going strong. But high school was also the hardest time of my life. My Duchenne doctor was supportive, but when it came to mental health, all she could offer was, “Have you tried Prozac?” No pill could change the fact that friends were forming their first relationships while I felt left behind.
I had a great group of friends, many of whom I am still close with, but it was complicated. My first love was also one of my best friends, and she dated another friend in our circle. Despite what a prom picture might suggest, things were messy. Charley’s Fund brought smiles on the outside, but inside, I was dreaming of New York City. I had wanted to go to NYU since I was little. With family on both the Upper East and West Side, I felt pulled there, but I also wanted to experience downtown life. Columbia seemed out of reach, so NYU was my happy medium.
After graduation, I rode the high of having a degree. was radically progressive, protesting causes, talking about psychedelic medicine, and saying things like, ‘we are just cogs in the machine.’ I even had a deep psychedelic library of books, and every time I would quote Aldous Huxley or some other author, my brother loved to joke about tossing them in the geysers during our Montana trip a few years ago. Reality set in, and I quickly returned to the fiscally conservative, socially liberal person I had been in high school. I hustled selling dark chocolate at Whole Foods, and then my second dream came true. I landed an internship at Porter Novelli. It was rewarding to help break down implicit biases toward people in wheelchairs in corporate America and to explore disease states beyond Duchenne, like Alzheimer’s.
Around that time, I met an AEPi alumnus I saw every day on the M1 bus. We finally connected at Café Adam in Great Barrington, where he was with his wife. He worked in HR at Blackstone and became a mentor, teaching me when to mention my disability and when to hold back. I even removed the wheelchair photo from my résumé. Employers should see my talent first before implicit bias set in. My mom’s former boss, a health PR veteran, offered to do mock interviews that helped me land my Porter Novelli role. I even met a VP at Porter Novelli with an art history background who balanced creativity with corporate skills.
Dating has been tough but promising. One woman I went out with on the Upper East Side was shy at first, but I helped her relax. Another worked at NYU Langone, and while it wasn’t the right fit, it taught me to ask questions instead of talking only about myself. Older women tend to be more understanding of disabilities and share my long-term goals. Recently, I attended an art showing in Hudson by a family from the Berkshires who had gone to school with my brother. Wine, vibrant outfits, and old friends. It felt like life coming full circle.
Life can be messy, but I am in the best place I have ever been. I am riding the momentum, enjoying the present, and working with a strong therapist who knows my disability well. I used to see her weekly; now I check in once a month. That is a sign the old Charley is back and he is kicking ass.
And now I am starting a new chapter. I am apartment hunting on the Upper East Side, the same neighborhood where my New York journey began when I stayed at my grandparents’ place while taking my very first NYU class for six weeks. Downtown was a blast during college, but I do not need people screaming drunk outside my window at midnight anymore. The Upper East Side feels like the right fit for where I am now.
