No Magic Wand, Just Movement
Tomorrow I move back to New York City after being home since January. I have finally completed the waiting game and now I will be in SoHo, commuting to my internship in Midtown near Grand Central Station and learning the ins and outs of healthcare PR.
It was not easy being home, relying on my parents for rides and not socializing much with people my age. But it turned out to be an important time to learn patience, manage anxiety, and stay present.
I used to believe milestones were magic wands. When I got into NYU I thought everything would change. College helped me grow in public speaking, living independently with a caretaker, and landing an internship I had been chasing for years. But it did not solve everything. I still had fears about building a career and finding love.
The last four months reminded me that transition periods are not easy, but they are necessary. There were good memories alongside challenges and weekly therapy helped me stay grounded. I know this will not be the last time I will be in transition so I am learning to roll with it.
Now I am setting new goals. I want to do great work, build relationships with coworkers, develop trust with my caretaker, and be smart with money. But I am careful not to turn goals into rigid expectations. That mindset has led to disappointment before, like when I thought college would be the most epic chapter of my life. It was good, but not perfect, and that is okay.
A few days ago I was in Boston continuing a clinical trial I have been part of for two years. This time I am managing expectations differently. I hope it improves my heart and arm function, but I also understand it may not. Either way I have learned so much, from more about my condition to how to navigate hospitals and even how to handle bloodwork like a pro. That knowledge alone has made the experience worthwhile.
Time does not instantly heal. But setting realistic goals and timelines gives you the best chance to recover and move forward. Worry too much about the future and you can get stuck instead of growing.
Now it is time to pack the car. Back to the city. Let us see what is out there, with curiosity and fewer expectations.
